wtf (w in this case meaning "who") would not want the midas freakin touch? i mean i could just touch a finger to my plain ole white teeth and in an instant *bling* - gold toofs a'plenty. schnizzle dat!
what the hell is wrong with you people? you could be living the dream of rappers and wanna-be rappers everywhere. when you're dead and i am only 30-something i'll think on you fondly while living in my gold house with my gold husband, gold pets, gold chillins and taking a golden pee in my gold "throne".
The following needs resolution before I can answer: is this one of those good Midas touches that you can turn on and off at will (as with Jessica's "plain ole white teeth") or one of those bad Midas touches where everything you touch turns to gold against your will, even when you just want to eat or caress it?
Since aging in dog years is "bad," and since WRT is supposed to be "hard," I am assuming that this is the "bad" Midas touch of Tatiana/legend. Tatiana's assessment is a good one, and I agree. Aging in dog years would be awful, but the assumed Midas touch would kill me in one week, or whenever I tried to fetch that crate of clothes in storage up above my closet, whichever came first.
Furthermore, I would like to talk about how fucked up that whole Midas fable is, anyway. It's a Greek teleology that supposedly explains how the sands of some river were turned to gold (Midas was mad because his sandwich turned to gold, he complained to Bacchus, Bacchus told him to wash his sins in river, river sands turned to gold, Midas was cured).
Not so bad really, although I still don't understand why Midas was punished -- even temporarily -- for wishing to be a gold-maker instead of wishing for world peace or no more ozone hole or whatever. I don't think there were that many wars or depletionary emissions back then anyway; what was he supposed to wish for? They hadn't invented anything cool, and as king he already had basically all he wanted from the catalogue of extant stuff -- with the necessary exception of limited natural resources LIKE GOLD.
And then, at some point, this whole extra part about him turning his child into gold and then dying of goldness was slipped in to make the "moral" more impactful. Ok, that's really taking it too far. I haven't done the research to pin down who's responsible for this, but I've got my eye on you, Christians. In nine out of ten cultures, the theoretical ability to create unlimited wealth would be a happy story.
Too much greed is bad, but not that bad. Too little greed is also bad; I want a myth about that. What's that, Jesus? Being ungreedy is good? Maybe I'd listen to that if it didn't come from the mouth of someone who turned fish into more fishes just by touching them. As far as I can see, the only difference between you and Midas is that you could turn it on and off. I think if you had turned that leper into a fish you'd have considerably less authority around here.
after he lost the touch midas went on to judge a contest where he decided that pan was a better lyre player than apollo and apollo got mad and gave him ass ears. midas was sad but covered his ears with a turban hat and no one knew except his stylist who told the secret to a hole in the ground where a bed of reeds later grew which whistle his secret when it's windy.
You suckers who chose dog years -- i'll use my Midas touch to turn all y'alls dead bodies into gold. Then i'll sell yas at the local pawn shop. And with the money? I'll buy mo' dental floss to keep my gold toofs shiny. sucka!
7 Comments:
At 10:45 AM,
jessica said…
wtf (w in this case meaning "who") would not want the midas freakin touch? i mean i could just touch a finger to my plain ole white teeth and in an instant *bling* - gold toofs a'plenty. schnizzle dat!
At 11:29 AM,
johanna said…
i agree with toe.
i will just use more sunscreen.
At 3:43 PM,
jessica said…
what the hell is wrong with you people? you could be living the dream of rappers and wanna-be rappers everywhere. when you're dead and i am only 30-something i'll think on you fondly while living in my gold house with my gold husband, gold pets, gold chillins and taking a golden pee in my gold "throne".
At 3:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
The following needs resolution before I can answer: is this one of those good Midas touches that you can turn on and off at will (as with Jessica's "plain ole white teeth") or one of those bad Midas touches where everything you touch turns to gold against your will, even when you just want to eat or caress it?
Since aging in dog years is "bad," and since WRT is supposed to be "hard," I am assuming that this is the "bad" Midas touch of Tatiana/legend. Tatiana's assessment is a good one, and I agree. Aging in dog years would be awful, but the assumed Midas touch would kill me in one week, or whenever I tried to fetch that crate of clothes in storage up above my closet, whichever came first.
Furthermore, I would like to talk about how fucked up that whole Midas fable is, anyway. It's a Greek teleology that supposedly explains how the sands of some river were turned to gold (Midas was mad because his sandwich turned to gold, he complained to Bacchus, Bacchus told him to wash his sins in river, river sands turned to gold, Midas was cured).
Not so bad really, although I still don't understand why Midas was punished -- even temporarily -- for wishing to be a gold-maker instead of wishing for world peace or no more ozone hole or whatever. I don't think there were that many wars or depletionary emissions back then anyway; what was he supposed to wish for? They hadn't invented anything cool, and as king he already had basically all he wanted from the catalogue of extant stuff -- with the necessary exception of limited natural resources LIKE GOLD.
And then, at some point, this whole extra part about him turning his child into gold and then dying of goldness was slipped in to make the "moral" more impactful. Ok, that's really taking it too far. I haven't done the research to pin down who's responsible for this, but I've got my eye on you, Christians. In nine out of ten cultures, the theoretical ability to create unlimited wealth would be a happy story.
Too much greed is bad, but not that bad. Too little greed is also bad; I want a myth about that. What's that, Jesus? Being ungreedy is good? Maybe I'd listen to that if it didn't come from the mouth of someone who turned fish into more fishes just by touching them. As far as I can see, the only difference between you and Midas is that you could turn it on and off. I think if you had turned that leper into a fish you'd have considerably less authority around here.
So yeah, dog years.
LEO
At 4:37 PM,
jessica said…
more matter, less art, dear leo.
At 5:35 PM,
Unknown said…
after he lost the touch midas went on to judge a contest where he decided that pan was a better lyre player than apollo and apollo got mad and gave him ass ears. midas was sad but covered his ears with a turban hat and no one knew except his stylist who told the secret to a hole in the ground where a bed of reeds later grew which whistle his secret when it's windy.
At 2:11 PM,
jessica said…
You suckers who chose dog years -- i'll use my Midas touch to turn all y'alls dead bodies into gold. Then i'll sell yas at the local pawn shop. And with the money? I'll buy mo' dental floss to keep my gold toofs shiny. sucka!
- sucka robyn
p.s. jv turned my toofs gold too.
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