twelve-

take all food in pill form
or
join a nudist colony

eleven-

very very strong (he-man strong)
or
very very small (keebler elf small)

ten-

be the best in the world at repairing radios and pretty poor (but not ridiculously so) at everything else
or
stutter really badly

nine-

learn
that you were adopted
or
that you were an alien

eight-

only need to
sleep 3 hours a night
or
work 6 hours a day

seven-

realize that what you think of as "blue" is pink to everyone else
or
know exactly when you are going to die


and compliments of jess:


over the course of a year
visibly carry around a warty slimy toad with you WHEREVER you go
or
only smell the nasty odor of swamp gas

six-

be limited to speaking 50 words a day forever (no rollover)
or
turn suddenly illiterate for 7 years

five-

tomorrow
start aging in dog years
or
develop the midas touch

four-

be
smart
or
right

three-

sell your arms and legs, thereby achieving world peace
or
'bed' the pope for a million dollars

two-

scream every word you spoke
or
send a stranger to jail for a crime he didn't commit

one-

be
blind in your left eye
or
incurably bulimic